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Opel Meriva B, the end of the road for a car genre and for one of the strangest cars nobody wanted. AND to make it good all the way through, Opel has decided to make the Meriva even less attractive to anyone mentally, sexually, and spiritually challenged enough to consider an Opel Meriva B.

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Sure, you can look at the Opel Meriva B and say it’s a good-looking car and you’d be partially right. If the first Meriva was a genuine rival to the Golf Plus, the Opel Meriva B takes me to the VW Touran and then sends me straight to the toilet. But at least this was one of the last Opels made by the Americans, and it shows. But at least it has end-of-life engines, some of which have been built since the days of Ur-Zababa, and decent reliability, it just has that one big problem that cuts off your momentum.

The doors. More specifically, the rear doors don’t open like a normal car but open as “suicide doors” as the Americans say. Of course, it’s much easier to get in and out when you have doors that open like that. It’s much easier to fit a child seat when you have doors that open like that. But it would be a great shame to accidentally open the doors on the move. In fact, I think that’s the main reason why nobody makes doors like that anymore, except Americans. Ah, wait, Opel was an American company. Plus you have to explain to everyone how the doors open. If you’ve had Seat Leon or Alfa Romeo 147 or any car that has handles up on the rear window, then you know what I mean. You have to explain to people how to open the doors, and you keep explaining until you get fed up and go and open the door yourself. Every single time.

Opel Meriva B Engines

Petrol

• 1.4 VVT of 100 horsepower – Just like the first generation, this engine may be a good idea on the Astra, but on the Opel Meriva B it’s underpowered. But at least it’s the last aspirated Mohican, so reliability saves it. The only thing that creaks are the induction coils but at least they’re cheap.


• 1.4 Turbo of 120 and 140 horsepower  – Clutch issues for the manual transmission and automatic transmission issues in general. On top of that, you’ve got a moody thermostat, but you won’t be looking at a petrol engine anyway, especially the Opel Meriva B.

Diesel

• 1.3 CDTi 75 and 95 horsepower – No. Yes, it’s reliable, it’s fuel efficient, but at 75 hp you’ll have to walk if you need to get somewhere fast.


• 1.6 CDTi 95, 110, and 136 horsepower – Launched as the last diesel developed in conjunction with Fiat, this 1.6 CDTi is a decent engine, devoid of issues or enthusiasm. If it were food, it would be potato soup.


• 1.7 CDTi with 100, 110, and 130 horsepower – The ancient 1.7 CDTi launched on the Astra H is retiring on the Opel Meriva B and is no longer the legend it once was. Because it was a good engine when it was euro 3 and euro 4, but now that it had to be taken higher it was more strangled than a protesting sadomasochist set on big aspirations. Or inspirations.

Opel Meriva B General Issues

• The electric power steering does more tricks and fiddles than a feminist and a vegan put together and has a tendency to not quite work all the time.


• The electrically operated parking brake does more tricks than a circus combined and has a tendency to lock up and leave you stranded in the parking lot. But if you’ve had a Passat B6 in the past, you’re already used to the situation.

Opel Meriva B Verdict

If you disregard the fact that those doors open backward and are a potential danger to the lives of rear passengers, the Opel Meriva B remains an Opel Touran, but a more reliable one. But is there still room in this world for vans with windows like the Meriva, Zafira, Touran, Sharan, and the rest? Definitely not, because one of the first decisions the French made when they took over Opel was to pull the plug on the Meriva and Zafira. But still, if you’re looking for cheap and good cars, then it’s definitely worth taking a look at the Meriva.

Which engines do you recommend? For petrol I’ll recommend the 100hp 1.4 MPI just because it’s more reliable, but the Meriva feels best with the 110hp 1.6 CDTI diesel. Or 136 horsepower, if you can find one.