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BMW 6 Series F13, is the official car of people without friends. You’re generally not going to have friends for having a BMW 6 Series or an BMW at all, but the F13 generation takes things to the next level.

I don’t necessarily understand what was BMW thinking when they switched from the E63 to the F13, but the BMW 6 Series F13 isn’t the oficial car of flour-transporting shady people anymore, they turned it into a full blown Grand Tourer. And that happened when they added rear doors and that’s how the 6 Series GranCoupe came about, then the 4 Series GranCoupe followed, and probably the 2 Series GranCoupe and the 1 Series GranCoupe and the 0.5 Series GranCoupe.

So I’ll start a sentence with  the word “so”. Sue me. Kick me in the nads. You’re no good for me, I don’t need nobody. Don’t need no one, that’s no good for me. You’re no good for me, I don’t need nobody. Don’t need no one, that’s no good for me.

Story time. The original BMW 6 Series was the coupe version of the 5 Series, more expensive and available only with the bigger engines. Then came the second generation 6 Series which is now the 4-door version of the 2-door version of the 5 Series, a 4-door car at base. And the sad part is that most buyers have been flocking like there’s free beer at the local pub, to buy the 4-door version because it’s essentially a better-looking 5 Series.

And now they’re talking about it being the official “I have no friends” car. The BMW 6 Series F13 is built so that the only person who matters is the driver. The passenger for example only has access to the window button and that’s it. In order to press any button on the dashboard they have to go through a plastic wall and the only reason it’s not actually an electric fence is because of car industry regulations. But if they could, they would put a fence between the driver and passenger. Furthermore, the dashboard is driver oriented like on old BMWs, so the passenger can’t even see much of the dashboard.

BMW 6 Series F13 Engines

Petrol

• 3.0 Turbo of 315 horsepower  – Probably the most reliable engine on the F13, the 640i will have a long life as long as you change its oil every 5,000 miles and only use BMW OEM oil. Also save up some money for the high pressure fuel pump, because the invoice will hurt as using a nail clipper on your teeth.


• 4.4 V8 of 402, 444 and 553 horsepower – We have the same mechanical runt but at least after 2013 it gets a major overhaul and is a little more reliable but that’s like saying it’s no longer stage IV cirrhosis but stage III. Slightly better, but not something to be enthusiastic about. But what I’m talking about, when you can afford a 400 horsepower 6-Series, the money isn’t even relevant anymore.

Diesel

3.0d of 308 horsepower  – A rear valve here, one injector fail there, EGR clogging up, flywheel elsewere, and one particle filter at the back. None of that matters, because when you have the money for a BMW 6 Series F13 it doesn’t even matter that the engine only lasts 100k miles. Technically it lasts more than that, but you shouldn’t be too concerned with peasant issues such as “money” or “costs”.

BMW 6 Series F13 General Issues

• The front seats... in fact, the seats, as you don’t care about the rear seats anyway, they’re not very well gripped and at a more enthusiastic bend you can spectacularly go out the window just like Clarkson’s fist came out of his pocket and straight into Oisin Tymon’s face. And the seats are constantly squeaking.


• The electric windows don’t always work so check them, at least the front ones. Or at least the one next to you. Plus the windows don’t have seals being a Coupe at base, so they should stop near the end, wait a few seconds and then close completely. So that it won’t chop off your finger.


• The rear view camera or 360 camera, whatever it is, you’ll have to get used to it not working properly. Or you can fix them every second time you go in reverse. But if you can afford a car like the your life motto probably is to never look back, only forward.


• The transfer case on xDrive models lasts about 100,000 km and the rear differential pretty much lasts just as little. But why would you buy an xDrive 6 Series? 

BMW 6 Series F13 Verdict

No longer is the 6 Series F13 an mobster car, now it’s a car for people with lots of money and not many (if any) friends. Otherwise, I can’t explain how they made that dashboard so hostile to the passenger. But at least it keeps up with the CLS and it’s still a status car. It’s NOT a sensible family car, it’s NOT a businessman’s car. It’s a car for status people. And I stand by my opinion of the first model 6 Series. It’s not aimed at me, but it was tailored specifically for its clientele and BMW knows them very well.

What engines do you recommend? For petrol, the 315 horsepower 3.0i is probably the most reliable (it’s definitely the most reliable) and for diesel the 308 horsepower 3.0d.